Jack's Descent
by DwarfRunner
Summary: A series of episode Tags exploring and cataloging Jack's fall for Sam. Obviously this will be a super S/J fic.
1. Chapter 1

XOXOXOX

**Chapter 1**

**Tag for "Emancipation"**

Colonel Jack O'Neill suddenly became aware that his second-in-command had quietly headed off to the infirmary. He frowned. He seemed to be doing that a lot today. She had passed over her weapon and moved stiffly out of the gate room. Her actions were well within acceptable protocols... She just normally gave him a heads up or asked for permission. Jack passed his own weapon off to a waiting SF and looked at the other two.

"Guys, I'll catch up to you, I need to go check on something," he said hurriedly, waving Daniel on as the younger man opened his mouth to protest. Obviously whatever was on his captain's mind, she didn't want to share with the class or she would have actually said something. Jack wasn't 100% positive but his best educated assumption was that she had gone to the infirmary. When he arrived, it took several mintues for him to find a free nurse.

"'Scuse me," he halted the young man.

"Sir?" the man asked, pausing and shifting his grip on a stack of files and a fat laptop computer.

"The captain from my team- Captain Carter- has she checked in here?" asked Jack, wondering if he was incorrect. Hell, after that mission, he would have been far more surprised if she hadn't come to the infirmary. This had only been their... seventh mission as a team? He liked to think he knew the captain pretty well by now though.

"Oh, yes, sir," replied the nurse. He looked a little nervous for some reason. "Doctor Warner can discuss it with you, if you'll just wait in a visitor's chair-" the young man nodded toward several utilitarian cray padded chairs lined against the far wall. Jack frowned more deeply, putting on his best 'colonel' face. The nurse, however, was undeterred and unintimidated, as a male nurse he had dealt with plenty of alpha males, and plenty of jackasses who thought men shouldn't be nurses. "Sorry, sir- if that's all...?" This stack of files was incredibly awkward to hold.

"Yeah, yeah," Jack said grumpily, waving the young man away. The nurse scurried off and Jack plopped himself in one of the chairs to wait. He began tapping his foot impatiently, and alternating standing and pacing. Finally he took a heavy breath and forced himself to sit quietly when a different nurse glared at him. Jack could be patient, he could, really. What he didn't like was not knowing what was going on with his team. And the young captain-doctor was incredibly tight-lipped about when she was experiencing discomfort. Their second mission ever the temperature had dropped to near-freezing overnight. Her lips had begun turning blue and he had had to order her to take his long john shirt to wear in addition to her own. Kawalsky had never hesitated to let Jack know- no. No, he couldn't think of Kawalsky now.

Jack stood to resume his pacing, but just then, Doctor Warner finally arrived.

"Doc, what's going on?" Jack demanded. Warner sighed, having known from the second Carter had come in that this would be immensely difficult. The Colonel had quite a fierce reputation, particularly when it came to his team being in the infirmary. They all vividly recalled the incident with Major Kawalsky.

"Sir, I cannot tell you particulars, obviously because of doctor-patient confidentiality," replied the doctor in his calm steady manner, unfazed by The Colonel. "But be assured, she is fine. She's just dressing again. I've ordered her to take the next twenty-four hours off. She needs rest and-" Jack opened his mouth to speak but the doctor held up a hand "-And sir... if I may, it would help, I think, if you would reassure her. She needs more than a knee-jerk reaction. Ah-" He held up the hand again to forestall Jack's comment "More than a typical, good-soldier speech, sir."

Before Jack could say anything, the captain in question came out from a distant privacy curtain. Jack had had enough and walked by the doctor without saying anything else. He strode right up to his captain as she finished straightening the collar on her long-sleeved BDU. Carter promptly stood at attention and Jack sighed. He really needed to break her of this level of formality.

"I'm not fond of repeating myself, Captain," Jack said with exaggerated patience as he took in her stiff stance. "At. Ease. Please, before you pull something. Stop coming to attention every time you see me; it makes my back itch."

Her lips briefly lifted into a small smile and it pleased Jack. He forced his own expression to soften as he asked, "Now, would you please explain to me _why_ you are here? And _why _you snuck away?"

Carter opened her mouth to speak but swallowed at the look on his face. "Sir, I didn't realize until we were almost back to the gate..."

"Realize _what_, Captain?" demanded Jack, not liking this at all. His mind drifted back to how long that bastard had held her. "Answers, now."

"Well, sir," she said, carefully choosing her words. If she didn't spit out a proper answer soon, he was going to lose his mind. "While I was held captive... Turgen he-" She swallowed as she closed her eyes and Jack felt an irrational surge of rage. He quickly tamped down on the feeling, terrified of what she was about to say. "He- struck me, sir, repeatedly. And- had me whipped for my first escape attempt. The wives gave me some of the medicine we brought back. I didn't really start to feel it until we were back to the gate, sir."

Jack surveyed his captain steadily, struggling to keep himself under control. Rage burned in him and he took a deep steadying breath. "And you failed to tell me this when were in the field _because_...?" She grimaced, knowing she should have communicated it to him immediately.

"It- it wasn't a problem, sir," she replied softly, not quite meeting his eyes. "Once they gave me the medicine, I didn't feel it anymore. By the time it wore off... we were almost back. And while we were in the field, sir, like I said, it didn't matter."

Jack took another deep breath and counted to ten, evaluating his own reply. "Didn't matter," Jack said flatly, wanting to tear back to the planet and murder Turgen. She needed him to be better, as Doctor Warner had advised. "Sam, I _need_ to know these things. I'm your CO, I am responsible for every member of my team. It could very well have compromised the mission. I _have_ to know what's happening with you in order to make proper command decisions."

"I-yes, sir," Carter said quietly, looking ashamed. Jack longed to reach out to her; she suddenly looked so small and vulnerable. He did not like where his thoughts were headed. "I'm sorry, sir."

"So, captain," Jack said slowly, "Let me get this straight. You attempted escape, just as you should. You were recaptured, it happens- been there. You were then rescued, went back and beat this bastard _in his own camp_, saved his daughter, and helped bring greater liberations to our allies' - people?" He'd nearly said 'women', but that didn't quite sit right. "And you did it while _wounded_?" She looked up at him, her blue eyes wide, full of surprise. "Captain, this would have been an impossible situation for _anyone_. You did good, Sam, real good. I'm proud of you; you're an excellent officer."

"I-thank you sir," she said in obvious surprise. And Jack had the sudden urge to kick himself for not telling this eager-to-please young officer enough when she did something well. The moment suddenly felt too heavy as they gazed at each other.

"Now, don't let it go to your head, Captain," Jack said with a grin.

"I won't sir," she replied with a broad smile. There was his fiery captain.

"You'll need to come for the de-briefing but then I expect not to see you on this base again for twenty-four hours," Jack said, mock-stern. "I know for a fact that the doc ordered you to get some rest."

"Of course, sir," Carter replied, following him from the room.

"Good, now let's hurry this up," Jack said with a broad easy grin at her. It was far too easy to smile at her. "there's a new episode of The Simpsons on tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

**XOXOX**

**AN: Going on vacay but watched this episode a few days ago and was inspired (: Do y'all **_**want**_ **a Broca Divide episode tag...? Personally, I don't really feel like that's where these two started. It was purely primal; they didn't really have **_**that**_ **spark yet. And I feel like that one in particular has been done to death... but maybe I'll add it. Maybe not. This moment inspired me more.**

**Chapter 2: **

**Tag for "Fire and Water"**

Jack O'Neill seized his captain without thinking and pulled Sam into a tight embrace. That crummy quack had lured her into a hypnotic state and she had been reliving Daniel's 'death'. Jack hated doctors but he hated shrinks the most. He had a sudden surge of irrational anger at this 'doctor' for making a member of his team relive the death of a teammate. That's all it was, he was protective of his team.

"We're going back, captain," he assured the panicked woman in his arms, "we're going back."

**xxx**

"Have a seat, Jack," Hammond gently ordered him. They had retrieved Daniel so all was right with the world again, wasn't it? Jack wracked his brain but couldn't possibly imagine what he'd done wrong this time. "Now, Jack, this could be delicate but I'm afraid it needs to be addressed. Be assured that this completely off the record."

"What does, sir?" Jack asked impatiently, just managing to not be thoroughly insubordinate.

"Doctor Warner has brought an incident to my attention," explained the general calmly, watching Jack for any reactions. Jack still couldn't possibly imagine what the problem was here. "He said that during the hypnosis session you 'embraced' Captain Carter. Is that true?"

"I- what?" Jack asked stupidly. "Yes, of course! She just re lived Daniel's death, for cryin' out loud."

"Now neither of us feels, especially given the extenuating circumstances, that anything improper occured-"

"Then why the hell did he bring it up?" demanded Jack, interrupting his CO, completely flabbergasted. He refused to examine _why_ this was making him so furious, apart from the fact that as a man of honor, Jack did _not_ appreciate his motives being questioned. He would _never_ do anything to harm anyone under his command in a hundred million years.

The general sighed heavily; "He merely was concerned given your ranks and your respective age differences that there was an issue of impropriety," explained Hammond, searching for proper words. "He said nothing would be written into the official report and left it up to me to decide whether or not anything untoward had happened."

"Of course not!" exclaimed Jack. "I would have done the same for any member of my team under those circumstances!"

"Would you, though, Jack?" asked Hammond gently. "Let me remind you, that no matter how hard she tries to hide it, Captain Carter is a woman, a _young_ woman under your command. Any hint of impropriety could damage her career. It isn't fair, but that's the world we live in right now. So if you do care about her future as any good leader would, then just... Be cautious of who is around when you do find the need to comfort your teammates." Jack was seething with rage but was too stunned to form a reply. "Unless you have anything you would like to add- as I said, this is all off the record- you are dismissed."

Jack nodded, still at loss for words beyond, "Yes, sir," and quickly departed Hammond's office. He made straight for the locker room and changed into his civvies.

**oxo**

Ten minutes later saw him topside and driving home to a beer and his telescope on his roof. Jack sat down in frustration, mulling over the events of the last week. Had they really just had a wake for Daniel a few days ago here? He popped the top off his beer as he settled into the lumpy, but comfortable couch he kept up here just for stargazing.

Jack knew couldn't simply haul off and slug Doctor Warner next time he saw the man and didn't know what to do. He racked his brains, trying to think how else he might have handled the situation. Nothing. He came up empty and he nearly growled in frustration. His thoughts drifted instead to the young captain under his command. She had to be at least a decade younger than him, brilliant, eager-to-please, ready to show her stuff. She had already impressed the heck out of him on day one, despite being a scientist. Samantha Carter had definitely proven herself to be a force of power. Unbidden, the image of Carter in the pink sweater she had worn to the wake; the way it had made her brilliant blue eyes sparkle, and seemed to make her blonde hair glow... Jack frowned at his beer as a different blonde suddenly crossed his thoughts.

Sara. The divorce papers sat on his coffee table downstairs; it was part of why he'd wanted to come up here. He needed to escape their stare, that blank little line, waiting for his signature. Jack sighed and chugged a good half of his beer, wondering why all his current issues seemed to revolve around blondes. He'd never noticed before. Did he have a type? Up until now, he'd had Sara at the back of his mind, even after she'd kicked him out upon his return from Abydos the first time. But then the papers had arrived a few weeks ago and well, there went that. He hadn't even thought of Carter as a woman, not really, even after the incident in the locker room, and even after that blue dress.

He'd still managed to keep his thoughts mostly professional. He wasn't blind by any means, but the small torch he'd carried for Sara had kept all other thoughts beyond a surface appreciation for Carter's general attractiveness at bay. Oh no. Oh no. That was not good; especially as he was about to sign those papers, he'd need to watch _that_ line of thinking. Jack needed to stop _that_ line of thinking immediately. He frowned more deeply , torn between wanting to go in and watch tv and not wanting to sign the divorce papers.

Jack sighed; he'd have to face the papers eventually. He chugged the rest of his beer and headed down the ladder and into the house.


	3. Chapter 3

X**XOXOXOXO**

**AN: ah, the episode that launched a thousand fics..**

**Chapter 3: "Solitudes"**

Sarah. Sarah was _here_. He knew she would be back, that she would forgive him. Jack sighed as the warmth of her settled in around his numb body. Nothing seemed to matter now. Everything would be all right.

**XoXo**

_Beep._

_Beep. _

_Beep beep. _

_Beep._

Jack groaned as sensation once more flooded his body. He hurt _everywhere_. Sarah. Where was Sarah?

"SHE'S CRASHING! GET ME A CART AND 10 CCS OF -" the voice grew muffled. Jack blinked, struggling to focus. No. Not Sarah. No. Jack tried to get up, he had to reach her.

He crashed from the bed. He felt the needles rip from his arms, a machine crashed to the floor. He managed to drag himself over a foot as orderlies came rushing to him. His leg had collapsed of course. Someone was swearing at the mess he had made.

"Is she-" was all he could choke out. He and the orderlies turned to the other bed, curtains pulled back, nurses and doctors frozen, watching the monitors. _Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Good, start the captain on-"

_Captain_? Sarah wasn't a captain!

Wait. Jack blinked, struggling to really focus on the blonde woman on the other bed: _Sam._ Oh. Oh no. "Sam?!" Reality crashed back into Jack and he collapsed to the floor.

**XoX**

"...said they were forced to operate _twice!_ The idiot got out of bed less than ten hours after we rescued you guys!" Jack knew that voice. "Janet already told you that you coded once, right? She's none too pleased with you, Sam."

Jack blinked. Gray concrete walls. White curtains. One solid ache ranged from his toes to his nose. "Sam?" He croaked out. No one heard. "Sam?!" His throat felt like sandpaper. Where was Sam?

"Sir?"

"Jack?"

"O'Neill?" all greeted him at once. In the dim lighting of the infirmary he could finally make out Daniel and Teal'C sitting or standing at the foot of his bed. Their bodies faced toward the bed beside him but they both looked to him now.

"About time," Daniel exclaimed, relief evident on his face. "Sam's been awake for two days now... We rescued you almost seven days ago, Jack."

"What-" violent coughs interrupted him. Daniel hastily gave him a sip of water from a cup on his bedside table.

"Take it easy," Daniel told him as the clicking of heels announced the tiny needle monger's arrival.

"Well, sir, good to see you've finally decided to join us," Janet said, practically beaming as she picked up his chart. She made several notations then began to check him over. "You had two cracked ribs, a broken leg, and pneumonia, and you were bleeding into your lungs. You are _very _lucky to be alive."

"How-"

"You're never gonna believe this Jack," Daniel said, growing animated. "But you were on earth, the whole time." It still hurt to talk so Jack just glared at Daniel instead. "Honest! There was a second gate in Antarctica! That's where we found you! You see when we first opened the gate it used to shake. A lot. So I theorized-" he paused at Jack's glare while Janet took his temperature. "So the seismic activity when you tried to dial from Antarctica told us where you were and we found you."

Jack blinked again and looked at his captain, safely tucked under what looked like half the blankets in the infirmary in the bed beside his. She looked back at him from wide tired blue eyes.

"Welcome back sir," she said with a tired smile. "You gave us all a scare there for a bit."

"Yeah, you too," Jack said softly. Suddenly she yawned and Janet frowned at the pair of them as Jack caught it and also promptly yawned. His body still ached, almost worse than parachuting into Iraq without the parachute.

"All right, Daniel, Teal'C, you've seen they're both fine now," Janet said sternly, staring down the two men before her. The enormous Jaffa bowed his head and the tall archaeologist opened his mouth to argue. Janet, doing a very good impression of Teal'C, folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Of course, Janet," Daniel said. "We'll come back later."

"I don't want to see either of you for the next eight hours," Janet instructed with a frown. Jack almost chuckled but groaned as the movement caused a sharp pain in his ribs. "Out. He's fine. _Everyone_ here needs rest."

"Good night, guys," Daniel said forlornly. He looked like someone had kicked a puppy. They left and and Janet nearly rolled her eyes.

"They haven't left your side since they found you," Janet told Jack, making a final notation in his chart. She flipped his morphine drip. "They have been sleeping in the other beds."

Words failed Jack again. As they always did. Sure he had had close teams before but this was something new. "Thanks, doc," Jack whispered. She smiled and hooked his chart at the end of his bed, then left with a soft, "goodnight, you two."

"Sam?" Jack whispered, turning to look at his second once more.

"Sir?" She asked quietly, curious, blue eyes wide. Jack could feel the morphine.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what sir?" She asked. She honestly seemed surprised.

This woman.

"For being there," Jack replied softly. He could see a faint blush on her pale cheeks. She had responded as his ex-wife when he'd been dying to ease his hallucinating mind.

"Of course, sir," she answered with a warm smile. He loved her smile. Jack blinked at the thought but couldn't help but smile back at her and something warmed in him. He never wanted her smile to fade.

Oh no.

He could blame the morphine for that thought.

"Goodnight, Carter," Jack whispered to his captain. "Get some rest."

"You too, sir," she replied. And Jack finally let the morphine pull him under.


	4. Chapter 4

**XOXOXOX**

**This is the original episode that inspired me to start this little labor of love. Enjoy! XoXo**

**Chapter 4: "In the Line of Duty"**

Jack O'Neill frowned heavily at the sleeping form of his second in command. He always sat vigil for wounded teammates, always. Something in him this time... something stirred in his gut, a wrenching which he couldn't explain. This _pain_, for lack of better term, had begun to twist in him from the moment he had found her lying in the brig. She had been nearly dead and for a moment, he had felt his heart stop. The Ashrak had done a real number on her and after she had drowsily explained that Jolinar had saved her had lapsed into a deep sleep. Doc Frasier had been by frequently to check on Sam, even though a nurse could have been delegated the responsibility. Jack felt better knowing the chief of medicine of the base was caring for his team member personally.

That moment though.

That single solitary moment.

Jack scowled as his mind drifted once more to that moment. He had gently reached out, fear weighing his limbs, and checked her pulse. Something awakened in him... Something which he didn't want to examine too closely at all. A strange new terror.

"Sir?" croaked a voice. Jack blinked. "Wuh-ssamatter?" Jack realized Sam was awake and staring at him with sleepy blue eyes and he was fully scowling at her. Well, not at her, at thinking. But his thinking had been about her. This line of thought had him frowning more. He blinked as he realized she was waiting for an actual answer.

"Nothing, Carter," he replied, forcing a quick, guarded, close-lipped smile. "That's just my face."

That elicited the desired smile from her and she quickly drifted riget back to sleep. Jack went right back to frowning; maybe it was safer if he only thought of her as 'Carter'. He definitely did not want to examine that strange feeling at all. His gaze traveled down her face though, and he watched her sleeping, far more peacefully since Cassie had left almost... twelve hours ago.

And Jack was still there, even though he knew she was okay now. Something kept him rooted to his chair at Carter's bedside.

No, no he did not want to examine that feeling at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**XoXoX**

**AN: thank you for the wonderful reviews! Especially Jodie who gave such an in depth review! I appreciate it so much! **

**Some dialogue is taken directly from the script as this "tag" will overlap the episode itself.**

**XO**

Chapter 5: Need

Jack twitched when Pyrus grabbed Carter. He knew she was a big girl and could take care of herself; but that irrational anger boiled in him again at seeing that creepy old goon touching her hair. Jack's skin was crawling; he couldn't even imagine how Carter felt when shit like this happened.

Must every society they meet be ruled by evil misogynistic bastards? Jack knew what could happen if he made any move to defend Carter so he kept himself still. Barely. Next time Daniel had the urge to help someone, Jack was going to shoot him.

**Xo**

"Water?" Jack asked, nudging Carter. She didn't respond. She wasn't- "Hey."

Carter straightened suddenly, "We don't use the sarcophagus!"

"What?" Asked Jack, completely dumbfounded but relieved Carter was still alive. Where did _that _outburst come from?

"Whoa. Oh that was weird," Carter explained, rubbing her face. "I was having a vision or something. I kept seeing the memory of Jolinar. The resistance, the Tok'ra, they don't use the sarcophagus. It does bad things to you. It changes your mind. It takes something from you. I kept hearing…Teal'c what is Kalach?"

Jack and Carter both looked over to T.

"It is Goa'uld. It means one's soul," he explained, looking troubled.

Carter turned her wide blue eyes to him looking frightened.

"Sir, we have to stop Daniel," Carter said with urgency.

**Xo**

"The man who would be king," Jack whispered bitterly, taking in the sight of Daniel sprawled on his throne. The Jaffa promptly hit Jack in the back of the knees, definitely much harder than necessary.

Daniel didn't even seem to notice what had just happened as he bounded off his throne and snapped his fingers at the waiting Jaffa.

"Hi Jack! Ha Ha…Hi Jack!" He called out as the Jaffa departed.

"We're losing the battle down there you know. Carter has started having Goa'uld flashbacks," Jack explained as another coughing fit seized him. He was ready to attempt a breakout without Daniel if it came to that. He didn't know how much longer he and Carter would last. "Says if you keep using the sarcophagus, you're going dark side on us…if you haven't already." Judging by the sight of Daniel, a slightly manic Daniel, he was a goner all ready.

"Well don't worry a bit," replied Daniel gleefully. "We're getting out of here tomorrow."

Jack couldn't believe his ears. "What?" He asked, looking up at Daniel.

"I agreed to marry her," Daniel explained in a low, conspiratorial voice.

"You did?" Asked Jack in disbelief. Did Daniel remember nothing of the things for which they fought? Like his _wif_e?

"But…" Daniel jumped down and picked Jack off the floor. "I said I had to go home and straighten a few things out first. And you guys are coming with me."

"And she trusts you?" Jack asked dumbly, not believing what he was hearing.

"She…loves me..," Daniel explained as though that settled everything.

**XoX**

"Sir?" Jack looked up from the report he wasn't writing to see Carter in the doorway of his office. He normally did his reports with Daniel and or Teal'C in Daniel's office, but he didn't much like Daniel right now. He'd been twitchy during their debriefing, so much that Hammond had finally dismissed him before the others. Daniel was _not_ twitchy; feisty, impulsive, and a tad jumpy from too much coffee, but never twitchy.

"What can I do for you, Carter?" Jack asked, grateful for the interruption of his non-work. She stepped fully into his small office, glancing behind her as though checking for someone. She still looked tired and exceptionally pale after their enslavement in the mines.

"Well, sir- it's Daniel," she said slowly, worry plain in every line of her face. "I think there is something seriously wrong with him. I think he needs to be confined… for his safety and the safety of others."

"And others?" Jack asked, looking over his second carefully. Carter's face flushed a little under his scrutinization as he stood and stepped around his desk. "Are you all right?"

"Fine, sir," she said automatically. Jack crossed his arms in an effort to keep his hands to himself. He really just wanted to hug her; she looked so worried. But after Hammond's admonishment, even in the safety of his office, it was probably best if he didn't "embrace" his captain. "Really. He just got a little mouthy and knocked a few things over in my lab."

"Daniel," Jack said flatly, not believing what he was hearing.

"Yes, sir," replied Carter, nodding.

"Daniel Jackson," Jack repeated. "Wow. Okay, let's go see Hammond."

**XoX**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for everyone who took the time to follow or review! I appreciate all of you! I'll try to be better about responding to reviews in the furture!**

**XOX**

**Chapter 6**

"**Message in a Bottle"**

Pain. Everything _hurt_. He could barely keep his eyes open anymore; exhaustion pulled him down and the pain brought sharp awareness. Fire burned in his veins. Then Carter was there. He could feel the gentle pressure of her hand in his; she had to be wracked with (irrational) guilt, of course, he knew her.

"Sir? Sir, I don't know if what we are about to try is a good idea or not, but you have the right to know. You might not survive it," she said softly. He trusted her completely; she always found a way out. He should tell her that more often. It hurt to move his eyes, his mouth, his tongue; he just brushed a weakened thumb over her knuckles and hoped she understood. Briefly, she squeezed his hand and the pressure was like electricity, shocking him. God, he hurt everywhere. But he didn't care, not when it came from her. He felt her pull the needle from his vein and almost immediately felt the fire course through his veins heighten in its intensity. He was going to die. He couldn't survive this. He wanted to cry out. He heard Carter give an order.

The electricity fired through his body. Carter spoke. The electricity came again.

Then nothing.

**XOX**

Jack looked up at his friend, "Nice work." He smiled at Teal'C. All memory of the pain was receding now as well. He groaned a little as he got up. Teal'C immediately came to assist him.

"It is good to see you alive and well," the Jaffa rumbled, holding onto Jack's arm.

"Welcome back, Jack," Daniel said, the relief plain on his pale face. He immediately stuck to Jack's other side, for which Jack was grateful. His legs felt like jello. He looked to the blast door as his captain arrived as well.

"Thought you were gone for good, sir," she said, also looking immensely relieved. Jack had to smile at her, just a little. Exhaustion pulled on him and he just wanted to lie down; not that he would ever say that of course. He couldn't let her down.

"Wild horses, Captain," he said gruffly, a slight quirk that might have been a smile on his lips. "You did good, Carter."

She preceded them out of the gate room and Jack knew they'd be heading to the infirmary. "Thank you, sir," she said in a way that made Jack think she didn't really accept that she had done well at all. He knew they'd have that conversation in just a little bit; it was best just one-on-one though. He didn't want her to feel embarrassed. Damn this woman; he needed to get it through to her that not everything was her fault.

Daniel, as usual, talked a mile a minute on their way up to the infirmary. Jack could _feel _Carter thinking the whole way. When they finally arrived and got Jack installed in a bed, he waved to the men of his team. "Guys, give us a minute, eh?" Carter's eyes grew wide, no doubt wondering if she was about to get yelled at. Geez, what kind of commanding officers had she had in the past?

Teal'C merely bowed his head and when Daniel opened his mouth to protest, the Jaffa seized Daniel's collar and pulled him away.

"Sir, if I may-"

"Ah!" Jack held up a tired finger to forestall her. She opened her mouth again. "Ah-ah! Captain!"

Carter finally focused squarely on him, not quite coming to attention, but not fully at rest either. Jack felt his back itch. He squirmed slightly at the itch but stared Carter down. "Carter, I need you to stop blaming yourself for everything. Ah! No. I am ultimately responsible for this team. I take everyone's suggestions, weigh the risk and make the call. This is in _no_ way your fault, at all. Do you understand?"

"Sir, I-" Jack raised his eyebrows at her, hoping she would laugh and relax a little. "I- yes, sir."

"Carteeeeeerrrrrrrr..." Jack said slowly, knowing she was still kicking herself. "Besides the fact that it's _my_ call, I am _fine_. See? There's no wound; I'm sure I'll be out of here in time for the newest episode of The Simpsons tonight."

She still didn't look fully convinced; Jack just wanted to seize her and shake some sense into her. Jack sighed heavily, "Do I need to order you to blame me?"

Carter laughed and Jack was immensely pleased with himself. "No, sir," she said with a smile. "Thank you, sir."

"Good, now go do whatever it is you do, and I'll see you at the debriefing," Jack ordered gently, waving her away and gesturing to the waiting Doctor Frasier.

"Thank you, sir," Carter said with a much bigger smile now. "See you later, sir."

_Sir_. For the first time Jack didn't like how that sounded, not from her. She was too stiff still; yes, that was it. There was no other reason; none at all.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Y'all ever go on vacation then come back and get mind-blowingly ill? I just did. This week was terrible. I think I may finally be getting better though. And WOW! This chapter just turned out wayyyy longer than I intended. I included a few snippets from the episode itself but expanded on those scenes a little. Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Chapter 7**

"**Tok'Ra Parts 1 + 2"**

Jack couldn't decide if he liked these "Tok'Ra" or not yet. He particularly did not like Marty- Martin- whatever that guy's name was. Something about him and the way he just swooped in and singled out Carter made him extremely uncomfortable. He especially didn't appreciate how they had just become prisoners and not even the arrival of SG-3 had changed anything; it may have made it worse, actually. Jack could hardly believe he was now standing with his second, trying to convince their CO of letting Jacob Carter become a Tok'Ra host.

"Oh, yes, sir, there's a difference, believe me. I won't even pretend to understand what the difference is, but there is one. One minute you're talking to a Goa'uld, the next minute you're talking to a regular guy…person," Jack explained helpfully. He looked at Carter.

"Host," she filled in helpfully, looking earnestly at Hammond.

"A host," Jack confirmed, nodding. He wasn't sure how he felt about the Tok'ra, but so far they were arrogant, stuffy, and really needed to work on their sense of humor... but they had let him and Carter leave and hadn't forced any of them to become hosts, so that was a bonus.

"How do you know it isn't just a trick? We've seen the Goa'uld speak as humans before," Hammond asked, quite rightly, Jack thought.

"Well, General, if these were your everyday run of the mill greasy-assed Goa'uld, they would have made us their hosts already," Jack pointed out, somewhat regretfully.

"They were holding you prisoner, Colonel. Still are holding SG-3 and the rest of your team!" Hammond countered.

"Only temporarily, sir. And they thought it was to protect us as much as them," Carter interrupted, still earnest in her desire to ally them with the Tok'ra.

Hammond looked between his officers for a moment before Jack sighed.

"Yeah, I didn't buy that one myself, sir," Jack admitted, throwing Carter an apologetic glance.

Carter would not be deterred, however. "General Hammond, please, I know my father would want to do this. He would have the opportunity to serve as the liaison between ourselves and possibly the most important ally we will ever have," she informed them, not backing down.

**XOX**

Jack's chest ached as he watched Carter speak to her father. His dad and his two siblings were still alive and lived in Northern Minnesota, a few hours from his cabin. He really should visit them more. He'd waited outside, not wanting to overwhelm Jacob with too many people. After what seemed to be ages, Sam- Carter and her father emerged with General Hammond offering support to Jacob. Jack nearly winced at his mental slip. He never slipped. He was black ops trained and was far smarter than people thought; it was one of his tactics to take people off guard. Although, Jack had been finding himself making stupider jokes around Carter lately just to see if he could get her to laugh. It had become a game to him.

"Heya, dad," Jack said cheerfully, taking in the older man's gaunt appearance. "How ya feelin'?"

"You know, I've been much better," Jacob replied with a tight smile. "Everything makes so much more sense now." Jack led the way down the hall to a side exit where Jack had parked a jeep in a spot that wasn't technically a parking spot.

"Anything in particular?" asked Jack, climbing into the driver's seat. He waited, wanting to hop out and help Jacob but knowing he wouldn't let anyone but Hammond assist him. Even that seemed to cost him some mental toll. Eventually Jacob was settled into the front passenger seat with Carter and Hammond in the back.

"Well, you, for instance," Jacob replied as Jack started up the Jeep and eased out of the parking lot. "I looked up your record, after we met in D.C."

"Ah, what was your favorite part?" Jack asked, stopping for a red light.

"Funny," replied Jacob. "It seemed strange to me that a former black ops colonel was working on 'deep space radar telemetry'. Your record was far too impressive for them to have shunted you off to some backwater assignment, even if you had pised off someone high up. From what Sam just told me though, you're exactly what this command needs to be fighting these 'Ghouls'."

"Well, thank you, I think," murmured Jack; glad at least that he had Jacob's approval. For some reason it mattered to him that his captain's father liked him.

**XOXO**

"You are even more vulnerable since you contain the memories of Jolinar. I cannot allow you to stay. We must go now," Garshaw was insisting to them. Jack's captain was being stubborn though.

"She's right, Captain," Jack insisted firmly. "We have to go." It pained him but he had to think of the whole team.

"With respect, no, sir," she said emphatically. "I am not leaving him here." Jack could feel a headache forming behind his eyes. _No sir?_

"Captain Carter and I will both remain," Marty interjected, trying to be helpful. "I will assure that we will not be taken by the Goa'uld."

"Please, Colonel," Carter was almost begging him. "I need to be here." Her wide blue eyes stared up at him pleadingly. He wondered if she would disobey a direct order to leave. She had already told him 'no' once, she'd likely do it again. The only way she was going to leave was with her father or over Teal'c's shoulder.

"Right," Jack finally relented, insisting to himself it was the best course of action, and not because of the way Carter was looking at him. "Daniel? Teal'c? Let's go." Daniel, Teal'c and Jack left the room with Garshaw, leaving Carter and Martouf alone with Jacob to blend with Selmak.

Up on the surface Yosuf stumbled across a dip in the sands.

"We may not have much time before the Goa'uld come through the Gate blocking our way," the Tok'ra called out to them as they drew closer to the Gate.

"We can take you to our planet and then send you to your new home from there," Daniel offered helpfully as they finally reached the DHD.

"Daniel, start dialing home," Jack ordered, tension radiating along his entire body. Something bad was coming, he could just feel it. A sudden movement from his left drew his attention and he saw Teal'c aiming for the sky.

"Well, shouldn't we wait for Carter?" asked Daniel, gesturing behind them toward the direction of the tunnels.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c called out. Jack saw it: About nine death gliders were honing in on them.

They could not wait for Carter. He was going to have to leave his teammate. Jack swore as his blood ran cold.

"DIAL!" he shouted.

**XOXO**

The Gate disconnected as Jack, Daniel, and Yosuf stood anxiously awaiting their people. Hammond and Garshaw joined them at the base of the ramp. Jack focused only on the big grey ring in front of him. He couldn't think. Couldn't think about Carter and what could be happening on that planet. Had Marty been forced to self-destruct the tunnels with his captain and her father inside? What was taking them so long? Jack finally unclenched his teeth when the technician called out an incoming wormhole and the Gate blossomed to life. 'Be her, be her' Jack thought, gripping his P90 in a death squeeze. His whole body and perception of the rest of the gate room seemed to fall away as he stared at the unforgiving iris.

"Receiving SG-1's IDC!" the technician called out gleefully. The iris opened and Carter, dad, and Marty all fell through the Gate rather unceremoniously. A couple of the guards stationed at the base dashed up to help the newcomers and Jack breathed a sigh of relief.

"I must give you thanks," Selmak/Jacob said, bowing his head slightly. "You have saved my life and that of my new host. We thank you." Oh that would take some getting used to.

"This is wonderful news," Garshaw said, nearly smiling.

"Yes," Hammond interrupted, sounding apprehensive. "Can we talk to your host?"

"So when the little fella inside me is talking, do I sound like she does?" Jacob asked, looking a little sheepish.

"That is correct," Teal'c confirmed.

"It's strange. I can feel myself talking, but it's not me saying the words. You know?" Jacob said to them, looking surprised but excited.

"Don't know," Jack informed him. "Take your word for it."

"How do you feel?" Daniel, always the feelings man, wanted to know, looking quizzically at Jacob.

"Well, considering I got one of those things inside me, pretty damn good!" Jacob exclaimed. "Listen, George. Because of this blending thing, I already know everything there is to know about the Tok'ra. You made the right call."

"I hope so," Hammond answered his old friend, smiling.

"I would be proud to serve as liaison between the Earth and these people," Jacob continued.

"Good," Hammond said, looking relieved. "Well, on that note, perhaps you can ask them to come with me to do a little debriefing."

"I'm afraid we cannot. We must go," Garshaw said apologetically. Hammond looked taken aback.

"You are safe here," Teal'c assured them.

"Because of the spy, the Goa'uld may already be at the site the Tok'ra have moved to," Garshaw explained.

"You can't stay a little longer?" Carter asked, looking from Martouf to her father. Jack's chest ached at the tone in her voice.

"No, we must go quickly and stop the tunnels there before they are grown," Martouf explained gently.

"We must move the Tok'ra to yet another new home," Garshaw said in her clipped manner. "Do you not have a dialing device here?" She looked around the Gate room as though just now noticing they didn't have one.

"Yeah, we slapped a little one together," Jack said, smiling proudly. _His_ captain had done most of the work.

"Hmm, you made it yourself, impressive," Garshaw said with a satisfied if somewhat surprised smile. "Will you show it to me? I would like to put in the coordinates myself."

"This way," Hammond said, gesturing toward the hall. Jack followed to give Carter some space with her father.

**Xx**

"There will come a time when the Tok'ra and the people of the Tau'ri will destroy the Goa'uld System Lords," Garshaw intoned confidently, preceding Jack back into the Gate room proper.

"This'll be a good day," Jack replied, deciding that he liked the Tok'ra's leader. Daniel hurried back into the Gate Room and handed Garshaw a Sagan Institute box.

"Um…this box has a signature in it we can recognise. Just send it through the Gate and we'll know you want to contact us," he explained as she accepted the box.

"Thank you," she said politely with a small nod of her head. "Come, Selmak."

"I love you," Jacob whispered to his daughter as they embraced. Jack frowned, knowing the look on Carter's face.

"I love you too, Dad," she replied. Jack could tell she was in no way fine. At last they separated and Jacob turned to Jack.

"Selmak says, let me see if I can translate this, don't call us, we'll call you," Jacob told him with a laugh. Jack smiled, deciding he liked Selmak too. Maybe not all the Tok'ra were so bad. He watched Carter rather than the departing group. She stood with a tight parade perfect posture as she watched the departing group, trying but failing to keep her face neutral. She looked lost. As soon as the wormhole disengaged she booked it out of the gate room without a word. Jack waved the others back and headed up to her lab.

To his surprise the door was closed. As the lab was for testing dangerous materials originally, it had a sliding blast door, similar to the gate room, so she usually kept it open. Jack knocked gently on the door. He could hear shuffling coming from inside. When she didn't reply immediately and the door didn't open, he tapped again, a little more loudly this time.

"Carter?" he called, trying to keep his voice low so others who might turn down the corridor wouldn't hear. The shuffling paused, then the door slid open at last. He could clearly see signs of hastily wiped tears. She stood in a loose imitation of 'at attention'.

Jack stepped into the office and closed the door again. "Hey," he said gently, not wanting to be military in that moment. Carter looked helpless; he didn't like helpless Carter. She closed her eyes for a beat before opening them again; fresh tears fell from her very blue eyes. Jack's chest ached again and he opened his arms; "Come here," he whispered. She immediately fell into his hug and he held on tight as she silently cried, getting his shirt wet. Jack rubbed small circles on her back but didn't say a word. He didn't like words anyway, words were overrated. He tried not to think about how perfectly she fit under his chin and in his arms. This wasn't the time for those sorts of thoughts; she was grieving her father's departure.

After some time she finally pulled away, snuffling a little. "Sorry, sir," she whispered, digging around on her workbench for a tissue. Before he could think of an answer she continued, "I know it's silly. I mean, he hasn't _died_. He's just gone off to the live with the Tok'ra. Hell, he'll probably outlive both of us! I just-"

"Miss him," Jack filled in softly, understanding completely. "It's okay to miss him, Sam. He's your dad, and you love him."

"I know, it just- sucks," Carter finished, finally finding a tissue and blowing her nose.

"Hey, he'll be alright," Jack said supportively, struggling again for words. "Marty promised to take care of him and he's a tough cookie. And hey, that Selmak seems like a fiery old bird too, eh? Together those three- er, four- will be great. They'll take care of your dad."

"Thank you, sir," Carter said, a little less watery now. She grabbed another tissue and wiped her face off. "And... I'm sorry about your shirt, sir."

Jack looked down at the accumulated tear stains on his shirt and brushed off her apology. "Ah, please, this shirt was dirty anyway," he assured her. "Not the first time I've been cried on, and won't be the last, I'm sure." Carter gave him a dry smile and the knot in his chest finally eased. "Hey, I have an idea. Let's do team night at my place tonight. We could all use a break." She looked hesitant so he quickly added- "And T hasn't been off the base in awhile."

Jack knew she would cave if he made it about someone else; he'd realized pretty early on that she cared very deeply for others and would frequently overwork herself to help other people. Although, he had a feeling if she went home alone tonight, she might just wallow. Or she would stay on base and overwork herself again.

Finally, Carter gave him a real smile. "That sounds fun, sir. But, could we introduce Teal'c to something _other _than Star Wars?"

"Hey, those are classics!" Jack said in mock outrage.

"Yes, but there are other classics, sir," Carter informed him dryly, but with a brighter smile. Jack beamed to see that smile once more.

"Alright, fine," Jack said in resignation. "Captain's choice tonight!"

Carter's whole face lit up and Jack knew she had already thought of a movie.

"Oh, no," Jack muttered. "Am I gonna regret this?"

"Not at all, sir," Carter assured him. "You're gonna love it! I promise."

"Really?" he asked dubiously.

"Yes, sir," she told him. "Now, I believe we have a briefing to get to?"

**xox**

They all settled into their favorite places in Jack's living room that evening. The humans all had beers and Teal'c had his usual soda. A partially eaten, large takeout pizza sat open on the coffee table. Carter still hadn't told them the film she had chosen but she popped the VHS tape into the player and snuggled under a heavy knitted blanket on the opposite end of the couch from Jack, grinning broadly. Jack had informed the guys about 'Captain's choice night' and that they were _not_ allowed to grumble, no matter what. The opening credits rolled and Jack couldn't help but grin broadly at his captain.

"See?" she whispered, noticing him looking at her. "I told you, sir."

"This is perfect, Carter," Jack replied, feeling warm at the contented smile on her face.

"Gene Kelly is my favorite," Carter informed him as the opening notes played for _Singing In the Rain_.

**XOXO**


	8. Chapter 8

**Jack's Descent: Chapter 8 - The Fifth Race**

**A/N: It's been a hot minute since I've updated this fic! But here's some more! I've been debating what episode should come next. It's a toughy. There's some weird episodes in season 2. This will be very short. Some dialogue is straight from the episode. Some I added. **

**Disclaimer: SG1 isn't mine, etc.**

**Xoxox**

Daniel sighed at seeing his friend working away on his mystery project. Worried gnawed at his belly. He knew his own expertise was invaluable to the program but without Jack, he wouldn't be in the position he was in now. It hurt to see his best friend in such a state, barely able to communicate with them. Daniel sighed again and stepped into the room, "I didn't want to tell you this before because I thought you had enough on your mind."

He held up the VHS tape in his hand, to which Jack did not even spare a glance. "Sam, Teal'c and the rest of SG-1 are in trouble; the DHD on P9Q-281 isn't working and they can't get home. To make matters worse there's a very hot sun rising. They don't have much time," Daniel explained, placing the tape into the VCR. He hit play, anxiously watching Jack for a reaction.

"…the rest of the symbols won't engage, the DHD is locking the Gate in place, so we can't dial out manually. I've tried everything I know about these things," Sam explained on the tape. Daniel paused the video and looked to his friend.

"Look, no one else believes that you have the knowledge of the original Gate builders in your head right now except me," Daniel said urgently, searching Jack's face for a reaction. Daniel thought he might have twitched when he mentioned T'ealc and Sam, but he couldn't be sure.

Jack seized a fresh sheet of paper and began to draw.

"What…What's he doing?" Janet asked quietly, leaning toward Daniel.

"I don't know," responded Daniel.

"Do you think this is going to help?" She asked.

"I…I don't…I really don't…know," replied Daniel, feeling helpless. Jack grabbed a clipboard and scribbled something on it and held it out to Daniel.

"Shut up and go away," Daniel read, frustrated. He and Janet looked worriedly at each other, anxiety mirrored in each other's faces. "C'mon, Janet. We both need a quick break."

Jack drew. And drew. Jack didn't know how to draw. He had heard Daniel and Janet. He'd heard the gate when it had gone off the first time. Something was... _driving _him. He had no idea what he was building or why. Daniel asked. Daniel always asked. Question after question. It's why he made such a good liaison, and why Jack sometimes had the urge to gag him. Or shoot him. Depended on his mood.

The details poured from his fingers. He seized a ruler. Straight lines. A mathematical formula he could never comprehend, despite his secret engineering degree. This was Sam-level mathematics. Sam. He paused. He shook himself. Jack _had_ to get her- get his team back. The numbers. Compass. The crystals. The crystals were key.

They were back. Jack watched them step down the ramp, relief and sunburn plain on their faces. They spoke. Sam was back. His second. Teal'c. The fill-in members of the team. But these two. _His_. He could see the disbelief on her face. The ancient knowledge recognized something in _her_. She smiled and something eased in Jack's chest.

Jack couldn't focus anymore. He could see them, watching him. But the gate wouldn't stay open long. That was all that mattered. The gate. He had to go. They tried to stop him. The man wearing the glasses spoke. Meaningless words. They let him pass. He stepped through.

The gate flung him onto a cold floor. Pain. Stiffness. Where?

"Ego…deserdi…asordo…" he pleaded, upon seeing small grey creatures.

"_He's human. From Earth_," one creature said.

"_But he's speaking the language of the Ancients_," another replied. Words. Not his.

"Comdo…asordo…" Jack whispered. So much pain.

The first being aims a device at him. Light. Pain. His every nerve on fire. Darkness.

Jack, once again, lay in a recovery bed in the infirmary. The tiny dictator had _insisted_ on keeping him overnight. He argued he felt _fine_. Geez, he'd had a nap on the alien planet. She had _not_ been amused at that. He just wanted beer, and the Simpsons. Actually, he was exhausted. Every part of him felt drained and his whole body ached, while simultaneously feeling like a limp noodle. Maybe he would close his eyes, just for a moment.

He blinked. Samantha Carter watched him. Her eyes, worried. Huge and blue. What? She wasn't watching him... she was looking at a camera? The fuzz as the tape played. The desperation. They were going to die. Be cooked from the inside out. He had to save her-them- the team. He couldn't fail her. The plans. The plans. The plans. Draw. Draw. Draw.

She was smiling now. Relief. Pain. She had burns on her fair face. They'd made it. He seized her in his arms, burying his face in her neck, holding her tight. He didn't care that the others watched. He drew back and smiled tenderly at her. A question formed on her lips. He didn't mind her questions, or her lips. He gently brushed her cheek with a hand and-

_Tap. Tap, tap, tap, tappy, tap. Tap. Click. Click. Tap. Tap. Click. _

Jack jolted awake, heart racing. What in the-

Ope. The infirmary. The Asgard. The planet. He was safe now. He blinked to see Daniel fast asleep on the bed beside him, mouth slightly open, snoring lightly. He glanced around and found the source of the tapping. His second in command. Samantha Carter sat by the foot of his bed, between him and Daniel, typing softly on her laptop, her lips screwed up in concentration, one foot propped up on his bed. They had clearly been there for some time.

"Can't- " Jack stopped speaking, coughing. Sam jumped and quickly fetched him his water, and remained standing, hovering by his head. Jack gratefully sipped the water, throat feeling like sand. After a moment, he nodded to Sam and she set the glass back down on his bedside table. "Can't a guy get some sleep around here?"

Jack waggled his eyebrows at Daniel, now snoring more loudly. Sam grinned sheepishly, probably knowing he was referring to her typing. He grinned, but god, even his teeth felt tired. How could teeth be tired?

"Sorry, sir," Sam whispered. "We can go, I'll just wake-"

"No," Jack interrupted her. He suddenly didn't want to be alone. She stared at him, a little surprise. "Just- it's fine." He smiled again. "It's fine. Bad dream. Nothing to do with you guys. Wouldn't want to wake his highness there."

"Of course not, sir," Sam replied with a grin. "I'll just-" she thumbed over her shoulder at her abandoned laptop on the edge of his bed. He waved her back to it. Jack snuggled down into his blankets, letting out a contented sigh.

"Hey, captain," he whispered. She looked up at him, blue eyes wide in question. "Thanks."

"For what, sir?" she asked quizzically.

"For-" Jack gestured between her and Daniel. "This. I assume Teal'c is off kelnoreeming?"

"Yes, sir," she replied, smiling again. Something shifted in his chest. A knot of anxiety he hadn't realized had been there. He really was safe. And himself again. "Get some sleep, sir. We'll be here."

Jack smiled, a lump in his throat but closed his eyes. After all, it really _hadn't_ been a bad dream at all. He wanted to find out what happened next.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Out of Mind, Part 1 & Into the Fire, Part 2**

**AN: So I remembered why I always used "XO" instead of a dash to break up the chapters and sections! Cuz on , the dashes disappear! Every. Time. And then my story looks like it was written by a crazy person. I'm jumping to the end of these two because I have another fic dedicated to the S/J moment in this episode: Of Snakes and Sunshine**

**Disclaimer: SG-1 isn't mine, etc. **

**XOXO**

**(Super quick summary from Stargate Wikipedia Page: O'Neill, Carter and Daniel awaken from stasis in what appears to be the SGC, almost 79 years in the future. They discover it is actually a Goa'uld hoax by Hathor. Meanwhile, Teal'c leaves the SGC to find SG-1. ****The SGC sends a rescue mission to ****Hathor****'s base to retrieve SG-1, and O'Neill kills Hathor. Using ****Tok'ra** **tunnels already present on the planet, SG-1 escapes and returns home.)**

XOXO

Jack retreated to his on base room. Frasier had tried to keep him in the infirmary, but he had _promised_ to go to his base room and stay there and sleep and do absolutely nothing strenuous whatsoever for the next twenty four hours. Which, normally would be fine, except he was slowly losing his damn mind in the darkness of his quarters. He tossed and turned in bed. He couldn't stop thinking of the ship, base, whatever the hell it had been. Those horrible moments. His team - dead. Seeing the guards, hearing them speak Gould. Finding Carter. Finding her. Alive. And naked. The trek through the corridors. Carter. That moment in the corridor when the recall device had activated and he'd pulled her back. She had clung to him. He had held her so tightly. Saving her from Hathor. Who had clung to _whom_. God frickin damnit. He seized his pillow and threw it across the room, knocking a painting off the wall. Oops.

Jack grunted and stood, clad only in his boxers and dog tags, sweat making him itch. He sighed and threw on his workout clothes and pulled on his sneakers. He snatched his door handle and jerked it open in frustration only to immediately cry out in surprise. Teal'c stood impassively before his door in parade rest.

"AH!" Jack exclaimed, clutching his chest. "Could you not... do- _that_!?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, clearly giving him a once over, taking in Jack's exercise attire.

"What?!" demanded Jack. He tried to stare down Teal'c, wondering if this would be a time that Teal'c helped him break doc's orders, or kept him on lockdown. "Listen, just don't tell the doc, okay?" Teal'c didn't say a word. "What? Listen, I gotta blow off some steam. I just- argh. Forget it."

Jack made to close the door and go back to his unsuccessful "rest", but Teal'c stepped aside without a word. Jack did a decent impression of Teal'c, raising his own eyebrow, but still the Jaffa didn't comment. He only fell into step alongside Jack who strode quickly and purposefully toward the stairs. Teal'c said nothing still as they made their way down to the gym.

"I promise I'm just gonna take an easy jog on the treadmill," Jack explained, feeling a need to explain, which was dumb. He wasn't usually one for words. "I just- couldn't sleep- it was too much. With- everything. I just needed to- argh. Never mind."

"You experienced a great deal of trauma, O'Neill," replied Teal'c softly as he paused and allowed Jack to pick their workout equipment. He did, indeed, make for the treadmills. "Believing yourself to be alone and forgotten, your teammates and everyone you knew, gone. The torture and implantation you suffered-"

"Ah!" Jack interrupted. He suddenly didn't want words anymore. He winced at the word 'implantation'. _Not_ something he wanted to think about ever again. He turned on his machine and cranked it up to a five for his warm up. Teal'c bowed his head and followed suit. Jack cranked his machine up higher, and higher, increasing the difficulty, and the incline. He relished the burn in his muscles. Fatigue quickly began to pull at his muscles, though. Apparently, he wasn't twenty two anymore. He couldn't bounce back from torture as quickly. He didn't want to think about that. Not Iraq. Not Sarah. Not Charlie. Not- he tripped on the machine. He managed to yank the emergency cord on his way down, so he only rode the machine to its end where it slowed rapidly enough to thump him onto the floor. He heard Teal'c's machine slow too.

Jack hung his head as he gasped for air, feeling his eyes burn. He heard a door. He could only guess Teal'c had given the intruder his best Prime glare. Whoever it was beat a hasty retreat. Jack could feel Teal'c sit beside him on the end of his own treadmill. He didn't speak. Jack wiped the few tears from his eyes, even knowing Teal'c wouldn't say anything, or care. The guy was like a hundred years old; he had a much different view on a lot of things than Jack did. But it just wouldn't do for Jack's rep for rumors of him crying to spread on base. Exhaustion of every kind dragged on him; physically from the torture, mentally _and _emotionally from the trauma of losing his team, of finding them, of losing them again, of Carter almost dying- he sucked in a breath and looked up at Teal'c.

Teal'c was freaking meditating. Jack smiled despite himself. "Thanks, T," Jack said softly. Teal'c cracked an eye. Seeing Jack's smile, he nodded somberly in response. "I just... you were right. About all of it." Jack hesitated, knowing he could not say what he wanted most to say. "And thinking I had lost all of you. Everything. It- it sucked, T. It sucked big time." Jack felt a stubborn tear roll down his cheek and he nearly laughed. Exhaustion made his eyes feel like dirt and fatigue begged him to rest his weary muscles. His neck ached from where the snake had tried to- he shuddered.

Teal'c gently rested one of his enormous hands on Jack's shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze. "You should get some rest, O'Neill," Teal'c said softly. "Although, I believe the T.V. Guide said there is a Simpsons 'marathon' on channel 32 tonight, should rest elude you still."

Jack finally felt a real grin break out on his face. "That sounds pretty great, T, thanks," Jack replied, finally standing. "And thanks for-" Jack gestured around them. Teal'c, a very self satisfied smile on his face, bowed his head in reply. This guy. He always knew what Jack was saying, even when he didn't know himself.

They parted ways outside of Jack's door, Teal'c declining his offer to join in on a Simpsons marathon. Jack turned it on and let the show play out while taking a cold shower, thoughts running in a thousand directions. Frustration still plagued him over Carter. He could _not_ notice she was a woman. She was his second in command and that position _demanded_ respect. It was just so nice to have a woman around. They all valued her for that; her compassion, the love she showed for Teal'c and Daniel, the slightly insubordinate respect she gave him as her CO. He wished it could be more.

Jack hung his head as the cold water poured over him. Welp. He sighed heavily and shut off the water, wishing he could just go home and have beer. She deserved so much more than anything he had to offer. Still, every time he told a horrible joke and she laughed, it lifted his heart in ways he'd not felt in a long, long time. Oh boy, was he in trouble. Jack toweled off and dropped into bed without bothering to put on clothes and finally fell asleep some time later while The Simpsons played.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Seth**

**A/N: This will be short! Just working out the writing muscles in my head.**

**Quick summary from Stargate Wiki: ****Jacob Carter/Selmak** **comes to Earth** **and tells SG-1** **that a Goa'uld** **named Setesh** **is hiding on Earth. Dr.** **Daniel Jackson** **tracks down several cults involving Seth to Washington** **state; however, the ATF** **also has an interest in stopping the cult leader**

**XOXO**

Jack left the mountain as soon as he could. He needed a break. They had a briefing in three days for some Important Visitors, so he wouldn't be able to go up to his cabin. Some days he just wanted to blow everything and everyone off. It had been a long mission. Seth. Jack's skin crawled and he gave an involuntary shiver as he put his truck in park outside his house. He sighed, knowing Teal'c had taken their two day down time to go off world and see Ryac, Daniel was assisting SG8 with some translations and Carter and Dad were in San Diego to see her brother.

If someone had told him back when he'd been flying missions through unnamed airspace that his life would one day be about a thousand more times insane, he never would have believed them. Yet here was a Gould living _on Earth_! Jack smashed his head against the steering wheel. He had too many feelings to understand. He sighed and climbed from his truck.

Safely in his living room he absent mindedly clicked on the television while making his way into the kitchen. An inane infomercial ended, the mindless droning replaced by-

"_Which old witch? The wicked witch!_" Jack groaned at his favorite movie, suddenly remembering Carter's face when he'd said, "_Hail Dorothy_." He slapped his own face and hurried from the kitchen to change to a new channel. A show about fishing. Okay, better.

Jack sloughed off his coat and tossed it onto the nearby armchair, suddenly wishing his team were all there. But they all had other 'stuff'; rightfully so. Jack couldn't fault them for having lives away from base. Just because he couldn't get his shit together- he angrily trudged into the kitchen and had downed an entire beer before he really realized what he was doing. Feeling more miserable than ever, he seized another and made his way back to the living room, kicking his shoes down the hall as he went.

He pretended to never know what was going on. Truthfully, he often didn't know what was happening, but he caught far more than he let on. His mind kept drifting back to Carter after she had used the ribbon device even as the fishing show continued. Perhaps fishing wouldn't be a distraction this time. She hadn't said anything really after their return to the mountain. Sure, Jacob had been there and maybe that's who she needed. After all, Jack was her commanding officer. Nothing more. Oh boy. He had to find a way past this. He'd never had a _crush_ on a subordinate before, not like this. He absolutely could _not_ talk to anyone about this either. It would definitely damage Carter's career, and he would never, ever do that to her. The fall out from the Touched virus had been bad enough; if word got out that he had _feelings_ for her...

Jack couldn't let that happen. It would destroy SG1 as it was now. Maybe he would have to take his neighbor up on his offer to set him up with his sister. Who knows? It could be fun. Jack chugged another beer and switched back to _Wizard of Oz_.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Point of View**

**A/N: even though I have another fic dedicated to this episode, I feel like it's a pivotal moment for Jack. Also, I love him and this episode. Thank you for all those who have commented, and those who have returned to my fic! A year is a long break, so I'm glad to see some familiar names in the comments. Thank you, thank you!**

**Disclaimer: SG1 isn't mine, etc. Some dialogue taken straight from the episode via www DOT stargate-sg1-solutions DOT com. **

**XOXO**

There were two Carters. It had to be Christmas. This _other_ Carter- Samantha, was just like his, in so, so many ways. Jack knocked on the door, rocking back on his heels. There was no reply. He frowned, wondering if she had fallen asleep. He tapped softly again but when she didn't reply, he slowly opened the door.

"Just leave it on the table, and close the door on your way out," Samantha said from the bed where she lay curled on her side.

"Sorry, leave... what?" Jack asked, stepping more fully into the room.

"Jack, I'm sorry, come in," Samantha replied, wiping her eyes and sitting up fully. Discomfort fluttered in Jack's belly; he had never been very good with tears.

"Your, uh, Dr. Fraiser keeps insisting that I eat something," she said with a watery laugh, gesturing vaguely at nothing.

"Ah. Well, she's your Doc Fraiser now too," Jack said with a smile, hoping to cheer her up. "You're in. They said yes."

"That's good," Samantha replied softly, nodding slowly. She looked relieved but... that was all.

"Yeah, I can see you're overjoyed," Jack said slowly, not really sure what to do with himself. She looked away from him, and he could hear her start to cry again, softly, trying not to show it to him.

"I just never expected this. It's so…so hard," Samantha finished uncertainly, her voice breaking.

"Uh, look. I can't even begin to know what you've been through. I know, uh,…I know you've lost a lot," Jack said, trying to be comforting but having no idea what the hell he was supposed to do or say. She turned those big blue eyes to him.

"I lost you. I watched you die, Jack. Three days ago, trying to defend the mountain," she said, somewhat desperately, searching his face for something. "And here you are, alive and safe in this perfect world, and you don't even know me.

"Well I…I sort of know you," he suggested lamely. Jack finally steeled himself and crossed to sit beside her on the bed.

"You know _her_. You don't even see her that way, do you?" Samantha asked. Jack winced, thankful she was looking away from him. Grateful no one else was there to see him squirm; or, as much as Jack O'Neill ever squirmed. He followed her gaze and swallowed, his face feeling numb, his whole body disconnected from him. The photo, the only thing she had brought with her from the alternate reality; it was _them_. Jack and Samantha. Or rather, _her_ Jack. But _them_. _That's_ what it would look like if he and Carter- he broked off _that_ thought train abruptly to focus on the woman in pain beside him.

"I take it where you're from we were…" Jack asked slowly, gesturing helplessly between them.

"Married," supplied Samantha, brushing away a few tears.

"Ah," Jack said lamely, not knowing what to do.

"This makes you uncomfortable," Samantha said in horror. Yes, indeed, Jack's mind replied silently.

"No, no, not at all. I just…I get confused," finished Jack, still not sure what to do with himself. God, he needed to get out of this somehow. How did this always happen to him?

A knock at the door interrupted them, and an airman entered with a tray of food.

"Ma'am? Sorry, Colonel, I didn't realise…" the woman looked concerned at intruding on a colonel.

"Just…put it on the table, airman," Jack ordered. Orders were something he could do. That was familiar at least. Not comforting his second-in-command alternate reality twin after she had lost her husband... her husband who was him?

"Yes Sir," she replied. Hastily putting the food on the small gray table.

"Close the door on your way out," Jack added, remembering Samantha's directions before. Samantha had turned her face away so the airman couldn't see her crying. They were so alike, his Carter and this Samantha. The airman beat a hasty retreat and Samantha finally got up from the bed to retrieve some food. She stared blankly at it for a moment.

"I haven't had a hot meal in forever. Just a couple of weeks ago, we were celebrating our first anniversary. Then we got the call that the Goa'uld ships had been spotted entering our solar system," she explained softly, tearing into a piece of bread, but not eating it. "We just left everything. You blew out the candles and I turned off the oven. We just left. They didn't hit Colorado Springs from orbit like most of the big cities, so the table must still be set."

"Cold by now," added Jack helpfully.

"Yeah," Samantha said, dropping the bread without eating any. Jack fidgeted, he always did when he grew nervous. Or bored. He wasn't sure what else to do.

"Listen, um, I should probably be…" he trailed off as he stood, about to make for the door. She whirled around and reached for him.

"Stay," she implored. To hear that word, from Samantha. But this woman was vulnerable, he couldn't take advantage of that.

"Sam…" he replied with a sigh, knowing he couldn't be what she wanted.

"Please," Samantha whispered, eyes filling with tears again.

"Look, you're dealing with a loss right now that I can't even begin to…What I mean is, maybe I'm not the right person to help you," Jack explained, wildly grasping for a reason that wouldn't hurt her but also a reason for why he couldn't be the one to help her.

"Yes, you are. You're the only one who can. Look, I know you well enough to know that you don't have a clue what to say. You don't have to say anything," she finished in a whisper. Jack felt his heart break at the pain in her blue, tear-filled eyes. There was one thing he was good at. He opened his arms.

"Come here," he whispered. She fell gratefully into his arms, fresh tears pouring silently onto his shirt. This wasn't the first time he had held Samantha Carter, and it wasn't the first time he noticed how perfectly she fit him.

"Oh, I miss him," Samantha mumbled into his shirt, clinging to him. Jack's only reply was to smooth her hair and hug her tighter. He felt tears prickling in his own eyes for the pain this woman felt. He _could_ imagine losing a loved one like that, because he _had_. He'd lost Charlie. He held the pieces of her together, knowing that's what he had needed when he had lost his son.

**XOXO**

Jack left the room sometime later; she had fallen asleep in his arms. He had carefully tucked the blanket around her and quietly left. He turned and abruptly ran into _Sam_\- nope. Carter. His mind had whiplash for a second. She glowed under the fluorescent lights, looking radiant as ever. Jack blinked the thought away. She was his Second. In. Command. But still he couldn't help the confused butterflies in his stomach when he saw her, despite the pain he had just shared with Samantha.

He tried to focus on her, wondering what it was like to meet yourself.

"Carter, how are you doing with this... twin thing?" he asked.

"Do you have a couple of hours?" asked Carter with a crooked smile, no doubt assuming he'd say no. Jack pondered, wondering how much he could support a team member and not have it cause more whispers about the two of them. He was sure there would already be wagging tongues over his visit with Samantha. To hell with all of them.

"Ok," Jack replied with a shrug. Carter seemed taken aback for a moment.

"It... that was the answer," she replied, eyes shifting in surprise, confusion briefly crossing her delicate features.

"Oh," Jack said lamely. He'd been making lots of lame comments tonight. Carter smiled crookedly at him, the smile that let him know he'd been the one to put it there, even if some darker worry lurked beneath the surface.

"Goodnight, sir," she said, her crooked smile brightening a little before she left him. Jack couldn't speak for a moment, something in his chest warming at the sight of her smile.

"Goodnight... Major," Jack whispered to himself. Goodnight, _sir_. That made his back itch, but he was grateful for the safety of their ranks, the militaristic hierarchy that erected a shield behind which he could hide. He'd put himself out in full view tonight. He'd just been comforting a visitor, someone lost in a strange land. He sighed; he supposed he needed to go check on Kawalsky too, to make it look like he'd been making the rounds of the visitors. He was on SG1; that's what they did. Jack sighed and set off for Kawalsky's room down the hall.

**XOXO**

Samantha reached for him, and he eagerly responded. She pulled him into a kiss, a lovely, acceptable kiss. But something was lacking. The spark. He'd felt a spark once before. Not with his ex, not with the few other women he had dated. Something he'd felt when _she_ had tackled him in the locker room. _She_ who he could never have.

It wasn't her.

And it wasn't him.

"You really aren't him, are you?" she asked softly. Those same damnable blue eyes gazed up at him as alternate Carter pulled back, tears glistening in realization. Jack sighed.

"No," he said softly, wishing she were someone else too.

"I just wish..." Samantha replied, apology and regret on her face.

"Yep," Jack said with a quirk of his lips that may have been a grimace or a smile. He didn't know which. Jack took her in for a moment longer as fresh tears formed in her eyes. He saw Kawalsky step into the doorway and he knew that this Samantha would be okay. Jack nodded to not-his-Kawalsky, turned his back on them both, and stepped through the mirror. He did not look back. He'd already given Samantha what he could.

Someone powered off the mirror behind him; he heard the _ffftttzz_ of it powering down. Some of the airmen were staring at him, and he could feel Carter staring at him. Jack knew he'd messed up somehow, but wasn't sure what to do. He took a breath and ignored everything. He was a colonel, damnit. He passed off his weapon to a waiting airman and strode from the storage room, not sure what to say to Carter or anyone else.

Sometime later, Daniel found him hiding in his office. Hiding, because he was rarely in that room. Most people didn't even know he _had_ an office. He liked to keep it that way. But because Daniel was, well, Daniel, he knew exactly where Jack was and what he'd be doing. Jack played with his yo yo rather morosely, not really thinking anything at all.

"Jack," Daniel said quietly.

"Daniel," Jack replied evenly, cursing to himself as the string twisted into a mess. He began to undo the knots, remembering showing Charlie how to fix this problem. He drew in a sharp breath at the memory of Charlie, pain stabbing is in the heart as though it had happened yesterday. Too many feelings right now.

"Jack," repeated Daniel, trying to draw him out of his head and into the real world.

"Danyuuuuul," Jack drawled, finally looking at his friend, abandoning the knots to their fate.

"Jack," Daniel said again.

"Daniel," Jack said warningly, getting a little tired of this.

"Jack, do you want to talk about... that?"

"What?" demanded Jack, daring Daniel to comment.

"Any of it," Daniel replied, clearly frustrated with him.

"There's nothing to talk about," Jack answered coolly, knowing he could never tell even his closest friend what was really happening in his heart. No one could know. It had been a mistake to comfort Samantha.

"But-"

"But nothing," Jack interrupted, standing and completely abandoning the yo yo. "I was comforting someone who needed me. That's. All. Now, come on. Teal'c is hosting poker night for SG6 and 2. We could use a break."

Jack shoved his friend out the door, ready to forget all about a certain blonde.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Deadman Switch**

**A/N: This episode is always a fun one. A few little moments here and there. I always wished they would have brought this character back. Imagine the fun he and Vala could have had : ) **

**XOXO**

"It's a trap," Jack said, lowering his binoculars as they sheltered behind the ridge. He could clearly see Carter tied up and unconscious close to the edge of the cliff, but not so close that if she inadvertently rolled over she would fall. Well, thanks for that at least, Arbis, Jack thought, purposefully thinking the bounty hunter's name incorrectly. Jack frowned at himself. That wasn't even very clever.

"I will go," Teal'c volunteered immediately. He was never one to back down from assisting a fallen comrade. Jack had to think strategically; he was the leader. But Teal'c was an excellent backup and would keep Daniel safe and he knew when to back down and call for reinforcements; not that they could use the gate. But keeping everyone as safe as possible was the priority, aside from Jack wanting to check on his teammate himself. She was a valuable member of his team, of course. That was the only thought he had time for right now. Focus, O'Neill.

"No, no," Jack said, decision made. Teal'c would know what to do without him. "I'll go."

"Wuuuuhhat are we supposed to do?" asked Daniel, drawing out the first vowel for a second for added emphasis.

"He's going to have to show himself eventually," Jack theorized, the beginnings of a new plan taking root in his mind. He stowed the binoculars and turned to Teal'c. "Can you take him?"

"I can," intoned Teal'c bowing his head, the look on his stoic face clearly said, 'Of course, O'Neill. Your doubt insults my manly warrior skills.' Not that Teal'c would use those _exact _words. But that was pretty close, Jack was positive.

Jack nodded slowly to himself, glancing around, judging distances, angles, and necessary trajectories for their different weaponry, which wasn't a lot, given that they'd had to leave anything with naquadah behind... and compensating for Keltar... "All right," Jack said slowly. He glanced at Teal'c, signed his directions and then made off for the ridge where Carter lay.

He got down on his hands and knees, and crawled forward to his second in command.

"Psst," he whispered. "Carter?" Carter moaned a little and blinked, coming around. She glanced about and spotted him, eyes going wide. Before Jack could reach for the ties on her extremities or her gag, he heard the rumble of a cargo ship. The downdraft from the ships engines whooshed over them and Jack groaned, spotting Aris Boch wagging a finger at them.

Damn.

**Xoxo**

"Carter? Cart…" Jack groaned in mild frustration, wanting Carter to wake up again. She'd passed out again after walking into the cargo ship. Jack had barely saved her from hitting her head on one of the benches in the cargo hold. They needed a plan to escape and he needed to see that his _teammate _was okay. Growing more impatient with her continued lack of consciousness, Jack grabbed her face and gave her head a slight shake.

"Carter! Come on. You passed out again," Jack explained as she finally blinked her confused, blue eyes. "You all right?"

"Yeah, what did I miss?" she asked, slightly dazed. She accepted his hand to help her sit up, and Jack breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Jack sat back in a squat, his knees creaking a little in protest.

"Oh, not too much," said Jack dismissively, waving a hand. "Oh by the way, the Goa'uld Aris wanted us to catch? He claims to be a Tok'ra named Korra. Ring a bell?"

"Yeah," Carter said slowly, face screwed up in thought, "it does."

Of frickin' course, Jack thought to himself, scrubbing his tired face with a hand.

"He said you'd recognise him," he informed Carter aloud.

Still looking a little puzzled she replied earnestly, "Maybe. We can't let Aris trade a Tok'ra." 'Puzzled' was an interesting look on her, but before Jack could peruse her face more, the cargo hold door slid open to reveal Daniel, Teal'c and Korra, held at gunpoint by the bounty hunter. Apparently, Teal'c couldn't 'take him' after all.

**Xoxo**

"... And that sir, is how we came to be sitting here before you now," Jack finished. He'd just explained the bounty hunter's change of heart and the little blue vial they'd dropped off to Doc Frasier. Jack sat back, twiddling his thumbs, wondering if he could steal Carter's pencil for doodling. He'd unceremoniously dropped his pencil and it had rolled over to Teal'c, who had refused to return it. The guy had raised an eyebrow and merely returned his attention to the general.

Carter, of course, did not fidget or even doodle. How does one get through a meeting without _doodling_? What sort of monster was she? He couldn't help but notice her long fingers resting beside the pencil though, ready to jump into action, ready for anything! God, she was-

"-colonel?" asked the general. _D'oh!_ Jack thought, realizing everyone was staring at him.

"... about taking a week of down time?" Carter offered up. Her eyes sparkled with hidden mirth at his expense.

"I think that sounds just _peachy_, sir," Jack replied with a grin, knowing full well he had been caught daydreaming during the meeting. He could really use some time away. "There's a fishless pond with my name on it, sir."

The general allowed himself a brief half snort of laughter. "All right, SG1, dismissed," replied Hammond. "And I had better not see _any_ of you on base for the next week." He finished looking directly toward Carter, but shifted briefly to Daniel. The two grinned sheepishly. His little space monkey and his second. Ah, those two. Now Teal'c knew how to party. They all rose quickly, Daniel and Carter debating a piece of tech they'd found on a recent mission.

Teal'c merely gave Jack a brief head bow and strolled off toward the general's office. No doubt to request permission to go visit his son. Jack smiled to himself as he watched Carter and Daniel disappear around a corner, still discussing their tech. Well, it was always a good mission when no one ended it in the infirmary. And now Jack could get some much needed space to himself. Give himself time to get over this... infatuation with Carter that he'd developed. Maybe he would take up his neighbor on that blind date after all. He needed to _do_ something.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Demons Tag- sort of**

**A/N: This is one of my least favorite episodes but I wanted a spacer, and Jack needed to try and spread his dating wings. And season three is **_**juicy**_**.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.**

**Xoxo**

Jack nursed his second beer, waiting for his _date_. He couldn't believe he had agreed to this. He'd agreed to it before going on their last mission, and now he deeply regretted it. He sighed and knocked the rest of his beer back and waved the barman over.

"Just a Sprite for right now, please," Jack gave the man his order. The man nodded and moments later brought him an iced soda. Jack nodded his thanks and quickly drank it down. Well, if this all went terribly, he could at least escape to the restroom pretty quickly. He started fiddling with some of the nuts in the dish nearby, idly wondering how many hands had touched these. He bet that Carter could tell him how many germs were in a bar snack dish. He shook his head but began snapping some of the peanuts between his fingers anyway. Hell, he was surprised that they hadn't brought more diseases from their travels around the galaxy.

Jack checked his watch, wanting to just go home. She seemed to be several minutes late now. Bordering on _quite _late, actually. Had he been stood up? He frowned, he didn't think he'd ever been stood up before. Jack sighed and had just pulled out his wallet to pay when a blonde rushed through the door, looking slightly frazzled. She gazed frantically around the room and broke into a grin upon seeing him.

"Hi!" she rushed over to him, eyes a little too wide. "You must be Jack, right? I'm Lindsey. I'm _so_ sorry! I got lost on the way here and Cynthia wasn't answering her phone and I had to stop at a gas station but still didn't quite understand so I had to stop again- anyway, I'm here! Cynthia showed me your photo, you are even more handsome in person."

Jack blinked at the rush of information.

"Yes," Jack replied, slowly. This most recent mission had been garbage. He could at least _try_ and have fun. "Yeah, I'm Jack. Should we grab a table, or is the bar fine...?"

"Bar's fine!" she nearly exclaimed. Lindsey brushed her hair back from her face and smiled, looking slightly less crazed now. Her enthusiasm took him a little by surprise but he gestured toward the seat beside his and sat back down. Her long, blonde hair felt past her shoulders and had a windblown look about it.

"So, uh, Lindsey," Jack said, fishing in his brain, trying to remember how dates worked. "How do you know Cynthia?"

"Oh! She's actually my sister-in-law!" Lindsey said brightly, straightening out her clothes as she sat down on the bar chair. Jack smiled a little at that. "And, of course, I know you're her neighbor! I've actually seen you a few times, usually you seem to be running off somewhere. Cynthia says you always seem to be carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"Ha, that Cynthia," Jack said with a slightly forced laugh. If only they all knew how true it was. Weight of the galaxy was closer to the truth most days.

"So what do you do for work, Jack?" Lindsey rushed on, waving over the barman. The heavily tattooed man came over and smiled brightly at Lindsey. Jack frowned a little. The man hadn't smiled at _him_ like that. "Margarita on the rocks please." She directed this at Tattoos, then directed her smile on Jack.

"I, uh, work in Cheyenne Mountain with Deep Space Radar Telemetry," Jack explained, wishing that someone could think up a better cover story. Lindsey's eyes grew wide and she spared a quick, "thanks," to the barman. Turning back to him she took a sip of her drink and watched him expectantly. He paused, at a loss.

"So... what exactly does that mean?" she asked, gesturing for him to continue. Jack coughed; he knew some science words, but would die before he let Carter and Daniel know that.

"Mostly that my team analyzes stuff that they record on these big... telescopes from outer space," Jack answered, gesturing toward space. "There's some kind of observatory and it's linked with the satellites we have... out... there. Mostly, I'm just there to babysit; I'm close to retirement. Saw a lot of combat in my earlier years. But enough about me. What about you, Lindsey?"

"Oh, you may have seen some of my work!" she exclaimed. Did this woman ever _not_ exclaim? "I'm a field reporter for channel 12! It's the third largest news channel in the region!"

Wow. Clearly she had never covered a serious topic. Jack nearly frowned before getting control of his face. Instead he smiled politely as she took another drink. "I'm afraid I don't have much time for the news," he informed her. "I work some really bizarre hours up in the mountain. Sometimes we... coordinate with scientists in other countries so we are sometimes gone for days. Cynthia is actually the reason that half my flowers are still alive. Well, I should say her son, Josh. He weeds and waters stuff for me. They keep an eye on things if I have to duck out for important meetings. Sometimes we have to travel to far flung middle-of-nowhere places too. Those usually get the best reception for our big, honking telescopes and whatnot."

She _giggled_. It was a weird sort of snorting giggle and Jack couldn't help but chuckle too. Okay, this wasn't _terrible_. They talked for awhile longer, laughing and running up Jack's bar tab. He didn't mind. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this himself.

"Oh!" Lindsey exclaimed. "You know, I was curious. I saw you a few weeks ago with a young girl while I was visiting Cynthia. I've been curious- is she related to you?"

Sadness overwhelmed him for a moment at the thought of Marrin. But she _had_ looked happy when they had gone back to visit, bring old-fashioned learning, and not to mention, fun to the other children of her planet. He'd narrowly escaped a court martial over that. Marrin had convinced the brass that Jack hadn't kidnapped her. She had wanted to go see how Earth children lived.

"Jack?" Lindsey prompted, watching him expectantly and Jack realized he hadn't answered yet.

"Ah, she's the daughter of a... Coworker," Jack explained hastily, and waved Tattoos over for a soda now. Hey, he did need to drive home, after all. "Or rather, a trade partner, is more accurate. She'd never been to America before and wanted to see how children here spent their days. And I love kids, and since I didn't need to be there for the science portions of negotiations, I offered to show her around."

"Oh?" asked Lindsey, curiosity obviously piqued. "Where is she from?"

"Ah, they're from a tiny little Scandanavian country, up in the mountains," Jack explained hastily. Shit. "Great skiing there, even in the summertime. But what about you Cynthia? Do you like kids?"

"Oh, sure!" she said brightly. "I think they're just fine! I have a whole life plan. I'd like to be married before forty, and then probably adopt a few kids! I think adoption is beautiful! But I am especially focused on my career right now. I'm up for a promotional move to Denver at work!"

Well, she certainly was focused on her career. That was great. But Denver? Jack could never leave the SGC and the interplanetary war behind, he knew that. Hell, they'd pulled him out of retirement twice already. Worse, he wouldn't let himself leave it behind. He felt a sense of obligation, he and Daniel being the ones who'd dragged their collective asses into this mess in the first place. The reason the Goa'ould knew that Earth had flourished in their absence was because of _him_. Jack sat, slightly stunned for a moment as Lindsey continued speaking. He couldn't focus.

"- but how do you feel about that?" she finished. Jack blinked, realizing he'd been gazing vaguely at her.

"I'm sorry," he said, an apologetic grin on his face. "Could you repeat the question? I'm afraid I didn't follow."

She had an odd look on her face which Jack couldn't place, but replied, "The 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Policy?"

"Oh, it's never bothered me," Jack replied. "I don't care who you love, as long as you've got my six on a mission, that's all that matters. So, I'm not sure about the policy. But at least they aren't openly kicking out gay people anymore."

Her gaze sharpened, and Jack remembered he was talking to a reporter. Was the exclaiming and bubbliness all an act? Suddenly uncomfortable, Jack coughed.

"And how do you feel about it, Lindsey?" he prompted, glancing at the clock over the back of the bar. 2345. He had a briefing at 0830 the next morning with a new SGC training class. The general had asked SG1 to spend the week reviewing a number of aspects of SG team life. He'd specifically asked Jack to review the importance of a good science officer and a good all-around nerd, aka, why these military men and women of action needed to put up with their Carters and Daniels. It was sure to be... interesting.

"Oh, I think it's awful!" she exclaimed. "But I agree with your sentiment that it shouldn't matter who people love. Have you seen any violence toward gay service members in your time serving?" She was... Fishing. Working a story. Damn. He wondered if she'd ever actually had any interest in him in the slightest.

"Listen, Lindsey," Jack said slowly, "This has been lovely. But I'm afraid I really need to get going. I have an early morning meeting tomorrow. But, hey, call me next time you're in town."

Jack hastily withdrew three twenties and a ten from his wallet, for the tip, and waved the money to catch the barman's eyes. Tattoos smiled politely and nodded and Jack tucked the bills under the edge of his glass of half-finished coke.

"Oh, no," she said, looking shocked, "I've upset you! I'm so sorry! I- please, stay! I'll buy next round."

"I'm sorry, I really do need to go," Jack said, not really feeling apologetic. He pulled on his leather jacket and nearly ran out the door before Lindsey could get herself together. He hopped in his truck, beating himself up mentally. Of course he should have been more cautious with a reporter. Damn. He'd have to tell Hammond first thing. Perhaps it was safest if he went back to hiding behind his unrequited Carter crush.


End file.
